I Was Just Schooled In Coaching!

I love what I do as an Agile Coach. Helping others be the best they can be on their path towards agility is my passion.

It fuels my continuous learning and desire to be the best version of myself as a coach. Reading or listening to books, taking courses, learning from my community, practicing, experimenting and honing my craft.

I spend so much time and energy being fully present and connected with my coachees that I’m often exhausted and spent by the end of the day.

That’s when I take off my coaching hat and look forward to unwinding with family and friends.

It’s also when I forget who I am as a curious, connected coach and change back into the self-absorbed, opinionated and downright righteous version of myself. Like Dr. Jekyll morphing into Mr. Hyde, the results can be pretty ugly. My wife is usually the first one to call me on it. Being a seasoned parenting and lifestyle coach herself, who better to spot my coaching transgressions.

“The cobbler’s children have no shoes”

Here’s a recent example of how she schooled me (again) in coaching.

My wife had always wanted to learn how to play the cello. After buying a cello, she was looking into taking lessons. She shared with me that she was considering starting with online cello lessons.

Before she finished her sentence, I launched into “expert” mode offering her a synopsis of how online lessons work. Sharing my views on its pros and cons and why she should do it.

I look up from my monologue just in time to see my wife directing a “talking hand” at me, looking thoroughly gobsmacked. She then mimics,


  • What do you see as the benefits?
  • What barriers do you see?

F*<k! Busted! Again!

A classic coaching anti-pattern of internal listening and offering unsolicited advice.

A coaching mindset shouldn’t be a sometime thing, it should be an all-the-time thing. Listening intently to others, acknowledging and then asking curious questions should be my default not only with client coachees but with everyone and especially family.

It’s something my wife often reminds me of.

Many years ago, an experienced veteran agile coach asked me if I, as an agile coach, had a coach that supported me. I said that I did not. At the time, I didn’t appreciate the need for my own coach. Now I do.

Do I now have a coach?

Yes I do. It’s my wife!

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