During an online group break-out session, I was accused of mansplaining by a female participant. I had never heard the term before and had no idea what it meant. I subsequently learned what the term meant.
The word started to become popular amongst feminist bloggers in the years leading up to it making the New York Times 2010 list of Words of the Year.
From Wikipedia:
A blend word of “man” and the informal form “splaining” of the gerund explaining. Mansplaining is used as a pejorative term to describe when a man comments on or explains something, to a woman, in a condescending, overconfident and oversimplified manner.
I was shocked. I felt confused and ashamed. I don’t even remember what I said or even how I said it to have caused her to perceive it as mansplaining.
Nevertheless, what she felt was real, no matter how I felt.
Eager for an honest second opinion, I discussed it with my wife. She was already familiar with the term mansplaining. She went on to confirm that I have mansplained in the past not only with her but with our youngest daughter. Ouch!
It was an important lesson and wake-up call for me.
I vowed to be conscious, more mindful and considerate of my audience.
Note to self: My audience may know just as much as I do and maybe even more.
Having this newfound realization has also piqued my awareness when I’m on the receiving end of a mansplanation.
Apparently victims of mansplaining aren’t just females but can be more broadly applied to anyone regardless of gender or age. It can be used to describe when a man (or woman, for that matter) takes a condescending or preachy tone in an explanation to anyone.
This broader application of the original term has spawned many variants of the concept including:
- Hepeat
- Bropropriation
- Assplaining
- Momsplaining
This last term I coined to describe the wisdom imparted to my wife by my mother-in-law.
Now, I recognize when someone starts mansplaining to me. And I hate it! Especially if I feel I know just as much or more than the mansplainer on the particular topic.
At the same time, I can appreciate the possibility the mansplainer may have absolutely no clue what he or she is doing.
Perhaps I should share my pre-meeting mantras with them:
- I vow to be conscious, mindful and considerate of my audience regardless of gender or age.
- My audience may know just as much as I do and maybe even more.
Taking it one step further,
- What might my audience know that can add to, complement or change my perspective?
Next Chapter Consulting 