After lunch one day, I was wading through the downtown crowds, rushing to get back to work in time for a meeting. Deftly weaving in and out of the pedestrian traffic, looking to save a few seconds here and there.
My surroundings blurred as I focused on mentally preparing for the meeting.
Out of the corner of of my right eye, I saw a stranger approach and greet me with
“Hi…”
As I turned away from her, I could hear her exclaim brusquely,
“OK!”
A little while later, another stranger started to ask me a question,
“What would you say is the most important…”
As I rushed past him, not allowing him to finish, I could hear him say,
“Have a nice day”
What did they expect?
That every person they greeted would have the time and desire to automatically strike up a conversation with a total stranger?
Whose agenda were they honouring?
Theirs because they had something to ask me unsolicited?
Or mine because I was in a hurry to get back to work?
I wonder what their success rate has been for actually getting someone to stop and engage?
Probably greater than zero otherwise, they wouldn’t be out there essentially cold calling. However, I would assert not much more than zero. Perhaps they’d have more luck if they were doing this in a tiny, sleepy hamlet rather than a busy bustling city downtown core.
Rather than take a shotgun approach trying to engage with everyone, what if they were to first assess the situation and each person before deciding to engage or not?
It’s just after the lunch hour so, most people are heading back to work and would have little time for idle chitchat
- Is the person alone or are they with someone?
- Is the person walking briskly or casually strolling
- Does the person look deep in thought, engaged in a conversation or are they smelling the roses?
In other words, what if they were to first “read the room”?
They may have a fewer total number of attempted encounters but, I would hypothesize a higher success rate for converting those attempts into engagements. And, they would avoid annoying people like me in the wrong place at the wrong time.
While we’re on the topic of cold calling, the other thing that turns me off are boiler-plate online solicitations. These are easy to spot and delete. They usually start by describing what they have to offer. Usually some solution or service without even confirming whether I have a problem to solve! These solicitations feel like a shotgun-in-the-dark approach.
Here’s an example I recently received,
“We can supplement your in-house engineering group and work with them to complete your projects. Or if you don’t have your own engineering team, we are ready to go from the start!
From the jump we are ready to provide massive value to you and your team!”
I don’t have an engineering team and I don’t need one!
Here are a few more examples,
“I wanted to personally reach out and wish you congrats on your amazing growth at…”
What amazing growth are they referring to? If only that shot in the dark were true.
“I’m sorry to disturb you on the weekend…”
This one prompted me to read a little further before deleting. At least it personalized it by acknowledging their impact on me first. It made me feel special for a moment before launching into their offer.
These online solicitations aren’t just limited to emails. I get them all the time on social media too.
Here’s a classic example from LinkedIn,
“I just requested to connect. I’d like to join your LinkedIn network.”
If you can’t be bothered to spend an extra 30 seconds to personalize the LinkedIn automated connect request then I can’t be bother to connect with you.
- Do we have any connections in common?
- What’s your specific objective in connecting with me?
- What’s in it for me if we connect?
There’s a lesson here when it comes to my approach for coaching individuals and teams:
- Always honour their agenda first. What’s going on in their world and how are they feeling at the moment? Start by acknowledging their world and their feelings and then, go from there.
- Tailor my agenda and services to their personal needs. Dump one-size-fits-all prescriptive thinking in favour of batch-of-one unique personalization.
So, the next time you try to engage with me either in-person or online, you’ll be more likely to succeed if you
- Read the room first
- Acknowledge who I am second
Next Chapter Consulting 